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The Apostle Paul lamented he didn't do the things he should and did the things he should not. Well, life goes too rapidly when I want it slow, but I am too impatient to wait for the things that take so much time. Perhaps these imperfections are what make us human. This Ash Wednesday week is all about looking at our humanity. Genesis 2, God says, you came from dust AND to dust you return. That is a very big "and".

I'm scheduled to return to La Gonave, March 20th. This time without Joe but with three who will experience Haiti for the first time. I want so much, but experience tells me the time will quickly pass as we meet to talk about issues of water, education, industry and construction on the Anse a Galets' Methodist Chapel.

Before leaving, there is a grant application to propose to UMCOR, a building estimate to somehow get from the contractor in AAG, a project profile to file, and even the need to finalize transportation to the island.

Involved in some of this is the Kansas East Haiti Task Force and Conference VIM/Disaster Response committees, who are probably wandering just how this all ties into our KEC / EMH Covenant.

Experiencing life in Haiti for two years and one week of the earthquake and the disaster of human suffering makes me impatient. I want people out of the muck, eating food on a daily basis. I want things "picked up and put away" and water pumping clear and clean. I want the chaos in the world to stop happening just long enough that we can "get things picked up and put away" like after a birthday party. The only pattern I'm finding in the chaos is more chaos. I want to understand that there are others walking the wilderness with me. I guess I've needed this Ash Wednesday week to help me understand the Lenten journey.

To focus on the "and" between the dust of birth and ashes of death for my life alone is not only scary but self-centered. The AND includes Haiti, Liberia and my daughter.

I'm sure there is an answer to the song, "What's It All About, Alfie?" But, like God said through Haggai, "my house is in ruin; rebuild my house." Not to worry about the "dust or ashes" but to trust the journey does not end in the wilderness.